I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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