yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
