If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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