i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
