He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize