Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
