i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
