I puked a lego.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize