What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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