he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize