My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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