Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
