Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
