i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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