you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
