this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
