Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.

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(203): I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche. http://tfl.nu/n3n6

Replies (4) Good night (2345) Bad night (512)
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(914): View more from New York

And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.

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(914): And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady. http://tfl.nu/00hh

Replies (14) Good night (3643) Bad night (682)
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(256): View more from Alabama

Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.

(1-256): View more from Alabama

That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.

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(256): Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload. (1-256): That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man. http://tfl.nu/ruio

Replies (41) Good night (2665) Bad night (650)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight

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(304): I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight http://tfl.nu/2lmk

Replies (23) Good night (4639) Bad night (1178)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls

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(504): i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls http://tfl.nu/i5gr

Replies (12) Good night (4747) Bad night (885)
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(862): View more from New Jersey

Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside

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(862): Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside http://tfl.nu/iwzn

Replies (23) Good night (1222) Bad night (5409)
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(631): View more from New York

i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not

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(631): i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not http://tfl.nu/6wfd

Replies (24) Good night (955) Bad night (6257)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.

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(605): woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder. http://tfl.nu/fadr

Replies (7) Good night (3323) Bad night (791)
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(903): View more from Texas

Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?

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(903): Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive? http://tfl.nu/hm3a

Replies (2) Good night (2217) Bad night (752)
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(425): View more from Washington

Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.

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(425): Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested. http://tfl.nu/cy6p

Replies (5) Good night (1323) Bad night (727)
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(804): View more from Virginia

I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?

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(804): I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again? http://tfl.nu/ryyt

Replies (2) Good night (1052) Bad night (477)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.

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(314): Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back. http://tfl.nu/xqdn

Replies (4) Good night (1097) Bad night (305)
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(518): View more from New York

I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life

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(518): I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life http://tfl.nu/wu65

Replies (5) Good night (859) Bad night (300)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me

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(270): I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me http://tfl.nu/n5ey

Replies (1) Good night (443) Bad night (218)
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(310): View more from California

I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks

(310): View more from California

Like what do you want from me

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(310): I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks (310): Like what do you want from me http://tfl.nu/m7w4

Replies (4) Good night (456) Bad night (208)

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