Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
