Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events

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(586): I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events http://tfl.nu/1mgv

Replies (7) Good night (1107) Bad night (1421)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.

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(920): I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with. http://tfl.nu/q53z

Replies (29) Good night (1636) Bad night (2010)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......

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(651): I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me...... http://tfl.nu/ywt3

Replies (72) Good night (1048) Bad night (5021)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.

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(304): Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism. http://tfl.nu/d61m

Replies (18) Good night (5452) Bad night (810)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.

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(303): I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number. http://tfl.nu/465z

Replies (31) Good night (15877) Bad night (1076)
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(858): View more from California

this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.

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(858): this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since. http://tfl.nu/ovf5

Replies (8) Good night (4385) Bad night (1110)
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(256): View more from Alabama

i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.

(1-256): View more from Alabama

dude how high are you right now?

(256): View more from Alabama

do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.

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(256): i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground. (1-256): dude how high are you right now? (256): do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves. http://tfl.nu/7ihc

Replies (41) Good night (12006) Bad night (1541)
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(916): View more from California

I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk

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(916): I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk http://tfl.nu/o3lp

Replies (12) Good night (2355) Bad night (964)
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(214): View more from Texas

The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become

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(214): The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become http://tfl.nu/8je0

Replies (6) Good night (3001) Bad night (1163)
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(416): View more from Toronto

Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science

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(416): Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science http://tfl.nu/y3kb

Replies (12) Good night (2091) Bad night (2111)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.

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(+44): I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland. http://tfl.nu/8trz

Replies (5) Good night (2213) Bad night (922)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.

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(321): I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever. http://tfl.nu/o4s7

Replies (3) Good night (848) Bad night (453)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?

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(816): Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone? http://tfl.nu/wu6u

Replies (6) Good night (915) Bad night (451)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home

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(860): Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home http://tfl.nu/znwv

Replies (1) Good night (793) Bad night (562)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.

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(410): Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win. http://tfl.nu/2tho

Replies (11) Good night (1365) Bad night (436)

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