It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.