Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.