the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy