Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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