carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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