what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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