Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
