I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
