Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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