Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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