The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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