That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
even my farts smell like vagina
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
