I just made out with a guy for $7.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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