nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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