ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
