You're completely useless in the revolution.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
