Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
