i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
