Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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