sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
