belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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