It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
