Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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