Fine. I'll sleep in my office
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
my liver is dry heaving
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize