im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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