i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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