he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
