I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
