It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
