I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
