I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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