there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
