i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I had to cum in my sink.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
