i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
