Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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