Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.