Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
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I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
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i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly