whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
