Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
