i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
