playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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