What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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