sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
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I have so many feelings about this burrito
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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