Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Congratulations! We have a period
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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