I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize