I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
